Tag Archives: Bad

Heroes and Bad Guys (magic bullets 12)

She felt like she’d been waiting for this all her life. A chance to bring down the wolf in their midst. Sharp Shooter may have fooled Dragon with his reformed bad guy routine, but he’d never fooled her. She was Hero Girl, she saw through that sort of bullshit instantly.

Begrudgingly leaving her siblings in the stretchy hands of Wall (after he promised that his promised Star Trek marathon would be another day as it was already way past the kids bedtimes), Hero Girl was off, rushing to her teleport device.

After stopping by the Watch Monitor room to reassure a cat girl and an alien that they were correct to call her, she practically flew to the private quarters wing of the vigilante alliance headquarters. Knocking at the door loudly, she shouted “Sharp Shooter, open the door! You’ve finally crossed the line this-”

The door swung open, displaying a dark room with the man called Joe Knight seated at his desk. He was cleaning one of his guns.

Painfully aware of the weapon, Hero Girl bit off the rest of her sentence, choosing to move quietly towards his figure. He continued to focus on the gun, acting as if he didn’t notice her.

It was all a ruse, of course. She knew that he was watching her out of the corner of his eye, calculating all of the ways to take her down. She would be ready for him. She felt her entire body tense up, preparing for the inevitable fight.

Except, the fight never came. Joe laid the gun down gently on the table before his chair spun around slowly to face the creeping heroine.

“I know why you’re here. It’s none of your concern.”

She nodded, the anger prevalent on her face. “I heard. She’s a fucking rookie, Sharp Shooter. Kids been here barely a year, and you hit and ditch her? Of course that’s my fucking concern!” Her eyes narrowed as she involuntarily thought of her own younger sister’s eventual acceptance in the alliance.

No. This wasn’t about her. This was a deranged ex-killer going too far.

“You have never been comfortable with my inclusion into the alliance. You have been gunning for me since before I joined.” He stood up, staring her directly in the eyes.

“Would you like to know why?”

“I know exactly why. It’s because you’re an emotionless sociopath who-”

“It’s because,” he interrupted, talking over her, “I represent reformation. Someone moving past a life of morally reprehensible sins. Someone who has forgiven himself and works towards a better world, despite my personal feelings.”

“Bullshit. You’d still kill again if you had the chance.”

His eyes darkened. “Yes. But I don’t give myself the chance.” He paused for a moment. “He doesn’t have the chance to either.”

Knife whirling in her hand, attack blocked by Joe’s sharp reflexes, he moved out the way faster than her eyes could follow. Knife still in hand, she rushed him again, jabbing at him whenever he was close enough. He was always one step ahead, one second quicker.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Talk. About. That!”

Each scream at him made her slower, the rage distracting her as she simply reacted in violence. She could hear his voice speaking without losing a breath.

“He can’t hurt you. He’s in jail locked away with all of the other monsters who hurt kids. He can’t hurt your sister, your brother. But you’re afraid that one day, the cops will call you up and tell you that he’s all better, that they’re letting him out. And you know that when that happens, you’ll kill him.”

Catching her arm, he held her firmly as he said, “Heather. I’m not him.”

Her knife slipped back into her utility belt. She stared at the desk, at the gun. Her voice sounded dull as she halfheartedly argued, “You still don’t belong here. You still broke the rules.”

He shook his head. “I followed the rules, just a different set of them.” At her puzzled look, he actually chuckled. “You should talk to Day Dream before you go running to Dragon. After all, there were two parties involved.”

With that, Hero Girl was standing outside his door again, wishing that she had just stayed home. Knowing she wouldn’t be sleeping, she made her way to the watch monitor room to relieve Feline Fatale.

“Fatale. You can head out, I’m taking over this watch.”

Feline Fatale vacated the seat, thanking her before starting to walk out. Lynette, however, stood by the monitor a moment longer, watching Hero Girl.

“Got something on your mind, Lynette?”

“I am simply questioning your actions. As it appears neither myself nor Feline Fatale informed you of the identities of the parties involved, I am curious as to your correct deduction that Sharp Shooter’s room was the room in question, and Day Dream the alliance member.”

“I wanted it to be him. I’d seen the way they looked at each other when each believed no one would notice. I waited, knowing they’d slip up,” she thought, refusing to verbalize these thoughts. She didn’t answer.

Lynette’s lips thinned as she appeared to struggle internally with some act of rebellion before saying “It is not my place, but I would like to create a formal complaint with the senior Alliance members in the treatment of relationships in the Alliance.”

Pulling a delighted looking Fi closer, Lynette continued, “Quite frankly, who we love should not be anyone’s concern, unless laws are broken or physical abuses take place.”

With that, the two women left the room, leaving Hero Girl alone with her thoughts.


Bad Words

Bad Words

Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to take sexual education classes ’til high school. I didn’t know what condoms were until eighth grade when i had a friend who sold them out of his backpack. I didn’t know that boys could love boys or girls could love girls when I entered public school after some time being homeschooled. I don’t resent my parents at all for this; I was their child and they had every right to raise me as they saw fit. I lived a very sheltered life and I didn’t think to question it until I started to meet people very different then myself.

Talking about sex around the opposite gender was taboo. I wasn’t allowed to audition for the school production of rent. For years, multiple friends confided in me acts of violence and abuse, things I could not comprehend. I had a vague idea of what they were trying to tell me, but all I really knew is that for some reason, girls I walked beside on a daily basis were hurting.

In sophomore year of high school, some people started saying that I had had sex with a boy. I was so angry, upset that people would think I was “that kind of girl”. Those who knew me ignored the rumors. It didn’t really matter if anyone believed it. It hurt me that it was said.

Its taken years for me to realize what was truly wrong with that situation. It didn’t matter that a rumor was spread that damaged my reputation; it matters that an account of my sex life, fiction or otherwise, affected the way people perceived me. Did it really matter in the long run WHO I did? Why did the focus have to be on who’s in the bed rather than what’s in a persons’ head?

I’ve been guilty of it. I’ve let myself be introduced as so-and-so’s girlfriend. I’ve let others make me feel guilty about my personal choices. I’ve stood in the mirror poking at my belly. I’ve talked about other girls behind their backs, the ones with rumors attached to their names. I don’t want to be that person anymore, the person who stands on the sidelines, the person who won’t speak up or against harassment and slut shaming. Why?

I want to live in a world where my sisters don’t feel guilty about the things that make them happy. I want to live in a world where my sisters would never let someone make them feel inferior. I want to live in a world where my sisters don’t feel judged or afraid to behave as they like. I want to live in a world where the girls who cried with me don’t cry anymore, where violence against women is a thing of the past. I want the news to stop being about victims in South Africa, India, and The Congo (because there wouldn’t be anymore stories to tell about violence) and start being about the people changing the world for the better.

I am a Feminist Killjoy. My ovaries are none of your concerns. I am not a sex object, public property, or any of your business. I should not be afraid, I should not be called “slut” or “bitch” like it’s something to be ashamed of. I should not be told to lose weight, or that I’ll never get a man if I act a certain way. I shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed of my choices or my actions.

My mother is one of the strongest women I know. She chose how she wanted to live. She chose to be a stay home mother, a wife, an entrepreneur, employee, and friend. She’s the perfect example of feminine and feminist existing as one and the same, and I don’t give her nearly enough credit. She’s the one the held me when my heart broke, the one pointed out my mistakes, and encouraged me to come to my own conclusions. She pushed me to leave and become my own person, something I can never thank her enough for. Though she will roll her eyes at my piercings, crazy hair, and talk of tattoos, I know she’s proud of me and her opinions is one of a few I actually give a damn about.

This is all connected, in a hectic, chaotic train of thought. I wish I could be more eloquent to explain it better, but hopefully someone out there gets it. I’m going to live a life with my name in bold, taking up the whole page. No ampersands, no apologies, no more guilt. These ideas should not be taboo, it shouldn’t be blasphemy to be passionate about an ideal. Words like vagina and breasts are not bad words. The only person I have to impress is myself.

Insert witty conclusion here.